This page is set up as both an awareness forum where people can come together and share their experiences from having been exposed to a sociopath in a safe environment and receive constructive, passionate feedback letting them know that having been conned was not their fault. This page is about validation of your inner self; engage, educate, empower!
But, why bother to have them tested when there's only a one tenth of one percent chance that they can be cured! I suppose it could be put in place of the prenuptial agreement. "Baby, would you mind taking an MRI test before we walk down the aisle?
is now possible to prove the presence of sociopathy (psychopathy) by
using a combination of an EEG (electroencephalogram) and a special
type of MRI (magnetic resonance imaging) that shows clear images of
the brain at work. Differences in the cerebral cortex -- structural
and functional -- are so obvious with today's technology that
it's amazing to think they could be missed.
you are up against a real sociopath, discuss the matter with a
professional yourself. Getting a sociopath to seek help is pointless
as they dread facing up to their own disorder.
that that isn't 100% universal; it's merely 99.9999%!!
newest breakthroughs yield enormous insight into this perplexing and
devastating condition that plagues four percent of the population and
causes those persons to plague everyone else!
everyone in the world -- except psychopaths (sociopaths) and a few
others, such as those with ADD -- has a neatly organized way of
storing information in the brain. Your left hemisphere handles such
things as speech, logic, and sequential thinking. It helps you keep
things in order. Meanwhile, your right hemisphere handles such things
as appreciation of (or creation of) art, symbols that evoke emotion,
and the way one puts together in the present time all the pieces of
the world around him or her as far as it is known.
NOT if you're a sociopath.
(see the masterful work "Without Conscience" by Robert D.
Hare, PhD.) have now conclusively demonstrated that the way such
information is stored in the brain of a sociopath is not at all like
the way it is for others. Instead of things being organized into
those specific regions in one or other of the brain's two hemispheres
depending upon the type of information it is, the sociopath has a
brain that operates a little bit like a computerhard
drive: it breaks all data down into tiny fragments and stores it all
over the place and in both hemispheres. Thus, to retrieve any given
segment is formidable and leads to omissions and errors far more
often than most people experience:
in an inpatient unit, to an NP who is organizing an outing.) "No,
I'm not going out with you guys this time, and I'm going to buy some
magazines when I'm there." HUH???? This kind of thing, as Hare
demonstrates, happens all the time.
give numerous (including some erroneous) reasons for not wanting to
treat sociopaths, and one of the more surprising ones is that it's
very difficult at times to make sense of what the patient is
the jumbled mess of a schizophrenic's speech, the sociopath's speech
makes sense within the fragments, but when these parts of speech are
strung together, they are often jarringly incompatible. Did the
sociopath in the inpatient hospital intend to go out and buy some
magazines? Or did she decide to stay in? She seemed to think she
could do both at the same time. If the NP who had asked her was
astute enough, she might've said, "Miss Smith, if you don't want
to go out, why don't you write down what you want us to pick up and
give us the money to buy it?" Although that's a realistic way to
do both things at the same time, one might wonder why the patient
didn't just say so in the first place!
they speak, your brain is going through a staggering feat of juggling
and data-organization at a speedthat
makes broadband look like a snail trail. If your cerebral cortex is
storing your vocabulary and the related ideas behind it, as well as
all of the other numerous types of information it must handle, in the
right places, this isn't so hard; if your brain has to fumble all
over the place for tiny fragments of data and try to assemble it fast
enough to keep up with your conversation, it is not going to be easy
-- and trained professionals will know that something, at least, is
now scientists know that the seemingly meaningless and frequent lies
that the sociopath tells may not all be actual lies. Some are lies,
particularly in sociopaths who have broken the law and are trying to
charm or bully their way out of trouble. But some -- especially
impulsive-sounding bragging or announcements of lofty intent ("I'm
gonna get out of this bugbox and write a best-selling novel, climb
Mount Everest, and go work for NASA!") -- are not intended to
deceive others so much as to tell them "I want to do something
with my life!" But, sadly, lacking the means and wherewithal to
do this, the sociopath will undoubtedly end up in trouble all over
about it: you know something isn't right, but you can't tell other
people, because you have not the slightest idea how to phrase what's
wrong. Plus, for some odd reason, everyone keeps getting rubbed the
wrong way by you. You try to get ahead in life, but everybody keeps
telling you about these strange rules you're supposed to obey, that
they all seem to know by heart, but you don't. So you study them and
try to memorize them and use them by rote, but keep messing up
because you have no mechanism to tell you (from within) that you're
stumbling over the line again, and inevitably, you do. Then everyone
gets mad at you and among other things tells you that you know
perfectly well what the rules are, so why don't you obey them? You
start to secretly suspect they're adding new ones or changing the old
rules around just to get you to screw up, but actually that isn't
true -- however, you have no real way of knowing that, either.
if all this isn't enough, you feel at the very least uncomfortable,
and at the worst like a human bomb, most of the time you're awake,
which at times can be several days in a row. You notice that the very
things that make other people happy have a very opposite effect on
you: your head fills with jarring "static," like a radio
playing with the tuner caught between two or more stations. Reacting
instinctively to this, you try to push people away because their
closeness causes the static to get worse, but then you discover a new
problem: you seem to need them anyway.
seem to need something from other people, but you don't know why.
That hug each other and smile, not a phony smile but a real one, and
their eyes light up. They get close and they talk to each other
without having to closely study the other's eyes to try to figure out
what to do in response. This seems to be a delicious pleasure to
them, much better than anything you've ever experienced. But if you
try it, and if you are actually lucky enough to persuade one of them
to attempt such a relationship and interaction with you, it
immediately starts to turn sour on you. Their touch does not warm
you; you feel colder and deader than ever. You don't know how to give
back, so you end up grasping for words you've heard used by other
people and trying to fake your way through it so they won't figure
out how you are; you've experienced enough to know by this time that
when others figure out your difference, they hate you for it; in
fact, you've been told you're "not a real person" and that
you "have no soul" (you're not too sure what a soul is,
anyway) and that people like you "ought to be lined up and
trying several times in this new relationship to get the pleasure
other people are always basking in, and failing, you start to get
angry at all of this -- and the anger builds into a terrible,
towering rage that begins to make you feel like a human bomb. "I
will actually, physically explode if I don't..." you're
thinking, and yet under the rage there is a weird, disconsolate
feeling that even your burgeoning hatred is as hollow and empty and
starved as you are. You consider taking your life, and certainly you
think about taking lives of some of these lucky, smugly superior
others. You settle for embezzling money, or something of the sort;
you're clever and manipulative and you don't get caught.
not. The things you buy please you for five minutes; a day, tops.
Then...flat, meaningless, like everything else in your life.
course, you don't HAVE a life -- and you never will. That's starting
to become increasingly clear.
WHY???? You see "The Others," as you're starting to think
of them, studying diligently to help and even to cure other kinds of
weird things wrong with people's minds, most of which seem to have to
do with the brain. But no one seems to know what's going on in you.
It occurs to you that to get some kind of attention from them, you
might pretend you have one of those other problems they study, and
then once they're paying attention to you, maybe somehow it'll lead
somewhere. What have you got to lose?
about to find out you can still lose more.
go into a clinical situation presenting with carefully-memorized
symptoms of the mental illness you have decided would get you the
attention you want. But faking whatever it is turns out very quickly
to be a lot more complex than you'd thought. In fact, it turns out to
be impossible. And, branded a malingerer, you are rejected yet again,
told that all that's really wrong with you is that you don't want to
try to better yourself. That,
and you're "evil," and it's not paranoia on your part to
realize that EVERYONE HATES YOU. Once they figure you out. Yes: to
know you is to hate you. And
you will go to your grave (as gloats Martha Stout of "The
Sociopath Next Door" book fame) never knowing the wonders of
real human interaction, meaning, and warmth. It
might just make you decide to go off the rails and kill everyone you
can before turning the weapon on yourself.
for one thing: the mere fact that some scientists know that much
about the brain of a sociopath means that solving the problem is no
longer an impossible and obscure wish -- it's moving within the realm
of concrete possibility.
soon as large numbers of sociopaths begin to be treated in a way that
actually helps them, that corrects as much as possible the chaos of
misdirected signals in their confused and disorganized brains, and
then a form of therapy that in addition to that, by necessity,
teaches them to cope with the resulting maelstrom of emotion and
impression that was formerly impossible, so that they can put it in
order and start to develop the heretofore dormant and silent segments
of their brains and better use those formerly mixed-up areas where no
recognizable order ruled, THEN THE OTHERS MAY BEGIN TO NOTICE WHAT IS
GOING ON...and they will know at least this much: instead of "the
kiss of death," a diagnosis of ASPD (the DSM-IV way of saying
sociopathy or psychopathy) will lead someplace; that there will be
things done that actually make a difference.
as they are neurologically, sociopaths are yet shrewd, and they're
always looking out for themselves in a way similar to that of a loner
predator. Seeing others like them actually benefiting from treatment
will have to start persuading them that there's something to gain in
going for help after all. Not being rejected or met with "We
can't help you; you're evil incarnate," or the equivalent thinly
disguised in euphemistic psychology jargon; NOT being met with a
situation where they'd have to substitute symptoms of an "acceptable"
illness in place of those they bear in secret -- that would almost
certainly, if gradually, have an effect: if a sociopath can clearly
see a benefit coming from admitting his or her real situation,
there's nothing to stop him or her from doing just that. It's
already started to happen, if in a tiny, barely perceptible
now, all science has at the ready for them is to use various types of
preexisting medication given in attempts to counteract the chaotic
way the brain of a sociopath functions. That and types of talk
therapy carefully altered to avoid the pitfalls that have in the past
caused regular therapies to make sociopaths worse instead of better.
But the more that scientists such as Robert Hare and his colleagues
delve into and experiment with the new types of brain scans and
learning what makes sociopaths tick like human bombs, the more likely
that it becomes with each passing year that a means will soon be
isolated to defuse those bombs.
primary source of a sociopath's infamous rage is frustration, of a
sort so alien and so extreme that almost no one else can understand
what it means. Once they start getting taken seriously, that
frustration, and the wild rage it provokes, will lessen, and since it
is a primary source of the constant distrust that makes regular
therapy fail sociopaths, the defusing of that rage and its maddening
causes will be a huge step in the right direction.