It's that intense insecurity and jealousy that drives their need to destroy, I believe. The longer we allow them to 'take,' the more intense it gets. At first, the take is emotional, then it's followed by they need to destroy financially and try and rid you of things they knew we worked hard for – even family relationships, something they will never gain on their own. I truly believe because they are incapable of achieving things through their own hard work and goodwill, they find it satisfying to strip us of what we have, right down to our own dignity. This works for awhile as they are sicker than we are smart. But, in the long run, we maintain our smarts, recover our emotions, and are able to see the big nothing that was reality. In that sense, we do outsmart their illness. We see what they hoped we never would. Now look whose entire purpose is destroyed. Thus the harassment and stalking. We've destroyed their essence, and in a true disordered form, they come back to hurt again - to control again through more destructive means. The more you fight it, the more it fuels and the more intense it gets. There is no breaking it off with kindness, dignity and common sense. They are out to destroy. I publish several decent sized newspapers and webites and have ties to owners of major metros throughout the northeast region of the united states. I'll slap his picture and story on the front page of every paper if I have to, and he knows i can and he knows i will. That is my saving grace. For my ex, it comes down to him being smarter than he is sick, that's for him to decide. If I were him, I'd choose smart. He's no idiot, so he'd be much better off controlling his impulses with me and moving to some other target. He messed with the wrong girl, thought he could take me down. He was wrong, and I'll battle it out and destroy him - even if it means exposing myself as being weak enough to fall for his lies. I'll do it, not out of vindictiveness, out of principal. That's how I roll. (Lisa Handles-It)
My ex did set out to destroy me financially , mentally and with my own family. He alienated me from three of my children with his lies and manipulation. He continues to lie but now it's more about the other women in his life. My children now see what he really is and our relationships are in the repair stage, getting better each day. He has moved onto another victim/enabler and he continues to destroy his own interpersonal relationships with his parents,siblings and children. He didn't win !!!
ReplyDeleteThankfully he has moved on from smearing you. The down side means that another woman is now suffering from his disease. It's a "catch-22". We pray that they will move on but the only way they are able to move on is when they have found a new victim. I am happy to hear you are doing better and standing tall.
ReplyDeleteThis very much describes how my mother operated "...in a true disordered form, they come back to hurt again - to control again through more destructive means. The more you fight it, the more it fuels and the more intense it gets. There is no breaking it off with kindness, dignity and common sense. They are out to destroy."
ReplyDeleteAnd destroy she did. She's been dead for almost 15 years but the damage she did continues...it now infects my children and grandchildren. Ultimately I was smarter than she was sick, but it didn't help any of us.